You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
