Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
