My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
