dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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