Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
