were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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