Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
