You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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