and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
