I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
