whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
