sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
