Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
