pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
