I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's never too late to be topless.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
