Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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