He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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