addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
