shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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