I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
