if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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