I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
