just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize