38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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