i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
there is puke in my bra ... again
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