I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
