So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
