you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
