i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
