You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
