Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
