He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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