Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
