My cat gives me a boner
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
