So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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