wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize