I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
