is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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