Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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