I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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