so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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