dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
