The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
