??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize