Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's shark week go big or go home
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
