God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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