just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
