Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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