he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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