She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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