A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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