I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Found the puke drawer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
