I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
