I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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